Babies Are Not Pizzas: A Doula’s Review
An honest review of Babies Are Not Pizzas: They Are Born Not Delivered by Rebecca Dekker PhD, RN
Wow. This book was a “hell yes”, and a sucker punch all rolled into one. By the end of the book, I was yelling, “Someone finally gets it!” I thoroughly enjoyed the entire story from start to finish and I am excited to share my thoughts, revelations, and “yes!” moments along the way.
Rebecca Decker does an excellent job of weaving her personal story together with facts and information. This always kept me invested and wanting more. I love that she gives an honest and detailed account of her birth experience in the hospital system with her first child. She admits to going into her first birth optimistic with the all too popular thought of “My provider is all-knowing and I can completely trust them with my health and wellbeing while giving birth”. She also touches on the social pressures to be well-liked by the nursing staff and be a “good patient”. As we navigate through the story, Rebecca details the experience of receiving sub-par, non-evidence-based care and the cost to emotional well-being. I feel like her story is one that I hear as a doula, over and over again. Almost every client who consults with me who is not a first-time parent recounts an almost identical experience. Oftentimes, when I am trying to explain the risks of accepting the modern maternity system model of care, I feel like those who have not experienced it before cannot possibly understand the ramifications. It also can sound like a really good sales pitch for doula support, even when that is not the direction I am trying to go. But Rebecca does an outstanding job of helping her readers visualize this experience and open the eyes of first-time parents, as well as validating those of us who have birthed that felt the same. Rebecca also addresses early in her book that there is no one right way to give birth. She understands that for those who want it, medicated pain relief is a great option. She never pushes an agenda or tries to tell the reader how, where, or with whom they should give birth to their baby. She is all about personal autonomy, consent, and information for everyone.
Babies Are Not Pizzas is also a tremendous wealth of evidence-based information. Rebecca covers birth settings, care providers, comfort techniques, monitoring options, interventions, and so much more. There are a ton of statistics and information for you to consider when thinking about your own birth options. This is as good as any “What To Expect” pregnancy manual intertwined with a compelling and immersive personal story of growth and strength. Even as a seasoned doula with many hours of training, I learned valuable information to share with my clients and assist in advocating for their needs. I plan to reread and take notes to reference in the future when assisting clients. It is one of the most informative pieces of text I have read this year.
As we progress through the story we get a history on how modern maternity care has become what it is. Where we fell and are falling short and where we, as a society, are improving. We also get an eye-opening account of why this system is so hard to change and what the culture is like within modern-day hospital’s labor and delivery units. Admittedly, I always thought the issues were provider-driven for the most part. I always thought, “If I can initiate change in how the provider thinks and enacts policies, I can change the way women are told to birth”. Unfortunately, Rebecca points out that the issues go far beyond the providers, and even when we have a provider who is really on board with patient autonomy, evidence-based care, and physiological birth, they may be putting their career at risk to be the best provider to their patients. At times in this book, I felt overwhelmed with the change it would take to improve birth for families. It was discouraging and frustrating, but Rebecca also led us on a journey of growth and gave me hope. She talks of real ways we can make a change and encourages us that we can make a difference by sharing our stories and gaining knowledge.
Toward the end of the book, we learn how Rebecca took back her power to have a healing birth experience. We also learn how she and her friends have set out to improve birth culture and get information into the hands of families all over the world. She made sacrifices and hard decisions to stand up for what she believes in and is making and has made real change for people wanting a better birth experience. She points out that every person has been and will be touched by birth in some way. We have all been born and most of us will go on to give birth or support someone we love in giving birth. This is an issue that affects everyone. I am really inspired to continue to strive to educate and empower families for better birth. I feel like eventually enough of us will shout it from the rooftops and maybe care will start to change. For the first time in a long time, I have fresh ideas and inspiration to continue to push for change.
Lastly, I want to encourage you to read this book. If you can only read one book related to giving birth, make this book your choice. If you love someone who will give birth, please read this book. It's honest, informative, and an enjoyable read. It will make a difference in the care you demand for yourself or your loved one during birth. It will inspire you to stand up for more and to know your rights as a birthing woman and patient in today’s current climate. It will instill strength and courage from the knowledge of all the women who have birthed before you. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.
